Atonement
by Elenluin
Summary: Freed Justine did not try to join Laxus when he was banished from the guild, nor did he try to stop him from leaving. First he had to come to terms with what his friend had done, and with his own role in the battle of Fairy tail. Situated during the Fantasia parade (no slash) - Chapter 5 - When we meet again my friend
1. Freed

Freed looked at the disappearing silhouette. " _We'll see you again, right?_ " He whispered to himself, a sad smile on his lips.

Evergreen sharply looked at him, "Are you alright Freed?"

He bowed his head. "I am. Or I will be."

She put an arm around his shoulder and he tried hard not to flinch. He let her guide him back into the guild. They had nowhere else to go.

When he had settled down in a quiet corner with a pint of beer in front of him, he pinched his nose. He was tired and had underestimated how much noise there was here in the hall. It had been a long time since he had last visited. He had almost forgotten what it was like to be here, especially on a night like this. Everywhere around him people were preparing for the grand parade, even Ever and Bix were participating enthusiastically. He supposed it was their way of saying sorry for what they had done. For him such a simple solution would not suffice.

After half an hour or so, he could no longer bear the tumult and sneaked out, quickly noticing that it was not quieter outside. The streets were crowded and everywhere children were running around, shouting in anticipation of the grand parade.

He fled and went to the one place where he knew he could be alone. He entered his small apartment without bothering to turn on the lights and let the door fall shut behind him. Mechanically he removed his boots and coat, neatly putting them in their place before letting himself fall upon his bed. Curling up, he listened to the noise of the parade passing by while his thoughts dwelled back to the events of the day. He realised now just how far he had been prepared to go.

He had nearly killed those he had once considered his friends. He had killed before and he would kill again and it had never bothered him. However so far, he had always found justification for that in the crimes his opponents had committed.

Today had been different.

Today he had almost killed Elfman, Cana and Juvia. Not once but thrice had he considered finishing off people that in essence had only broken his rules. If Mirajane had not stopped him, he would not even have hesitated.

He took a shuddering breath.

" _Very well Freed the dark. It's time you showed them your true power_." He had heard Laxus' whisper while he rushed out of the cathedral and the words still echoed in his mind. Even in that moment, he had had a choice. He could have stopped there and then. He could have used his runes to protect the guild from Laxus' dangerous madness, from his Thunder palace.

But he had not. Part of him had wanted to show them who he truly was.

And the least he could say was that he had.

When Laxus had called him weak earlier, it had hurt him more than he could say, but he now saw that the dragonslayer had been right.

Oh he had tried to pretend he was not. He had always tried to let his work speak for him rather than measuring his strength with his fellow guild members. He had earned the respect of the other Raijinshu by doing so, without much effort, without any clashes. For years, he had kept control. But now he had let his control slip and had shown the far darker soul that ever lurked inside. He was weak, for he had broken the rules.

He might have adhered to the rules of the game, but he had broken the rules he had imposed on himself when he had first learned what he could do with his magic. Moderation, honour, self-control. He had not been strong enough to keep true to those values.

What he had done, was not Laxus' responsibility. It was his own.

A thought occurred to him and he rose. Once he reached his bathroom, he made light for the first time and stared at his white face in the mirror. With a trembling hand he took his dagger from his belt.

Groping his long green hair with his left hand he started sawing it away. When the long locks had gone, he continued and cut it even shorter. He closed his eyes and hesitated when he felt the little lightning bolts. He sank down on the floor between the strands of green hair and tightened his grip on the knife.

Hesitating only a moment he then cut them off with one fast movement of his dagger. Leaning his head against the cabinet, he could no longer hold back the tears.

Laxus would understand.

When the dragonslayer had told them he had been banished, he had not tried to stop him from leaving. He had not even proposed to join him. This was something each of them had to do alone.

A soft knock on the door interrupted his thoughts.

"Freed, are you there? Freed?" Ever's shrill voice sounded muffled through the door.

Another replied. "It seems to be all dark inside." "Dark inside" echoed Bickslow's babies.

"He must be there, Bix. Where else would he go? Freed! Freed! Open up! Come on, let us in!" more muffled talking followed, but he could not make out the words.

Freed sighed, he did not want to talk to them. Later maybe, but not tonight. He had a duty to be their captain, their shoulder to lean on and tonight he simply could not be that man.

The hammering on the door made him cringe. Bickslow never had been a patient man. It was a good thing the neighbours were still out of town.

The pounding got louder and he started to fear that Bickslow would just kick it open. He scrambled up and ran towards the door. "Don't smash the door, I'm coming!"

When he undid the bolts, he heard Evergreen's whispered "You see, I told you he would be here." and refrained from rolling his eyes.

He held the door for a second, taking a deep breath and straightening his back. When he finally opened it, he had a spell ready at his fingertips. Quickly he drew the runes that would raise a barrier just in front of it, protecting it from Bickslow's onslaught and preventing his fellow Raijinshu from coming in.

He had planned to just close the door immediately after putting the barrier, but was taken aback by Evergreen's horrified expression. Unconsciously he touched his forehead to tuck away the long lock that would hide his demon eye. When he found it missing, he realised what had shocked Evergreen so.

"Freed." Bickslow was the first to find back his voice, "What have you done?" his friend whispered.

He averted his eyes. "Leave me alone, will you? I do not need you here tonight."

"Freed, will you not let us in? We were worried about you." Someone else said.

Quickly he looked up again to see a woman standing behind Bickslow. He had not realised that Mirajane had come too. His expression hardened. "I said leave me alone." Turning around, he slammed the door shut behind him.

Sagging down, he rested the back of his head against the heavy oak. He could hear them still.

"Bickslow, do something!" Evergreen shrieked.

"Calm down," Mirajane's soft voice interfered, "You two go back to the guild hall. You've promised the master you would help with the clean up after the party tonight, and I do not think this is a good time to break that promise."

"But wat about Freed? We cannot leave him like this. Did you see what he did?" Bickslow grumbled.

"I'll keep an eye on him. Now go, and do not worry. Let him be alone for a while. I'm sure he'll talk to you in the morning."

Freed smirked. She was right. All he wanted was a few moments to himself. Soon he heard Bix's heavy footsteps on the stairs, followed by Evergreen's nervous chattering. At least they were leaving.

He closed his eyes and tried to fight the tears that threatened to fall again. He already missed Laxus. He fought the impulse to fly the city to track him down. He was certain he would be able to find his friend, but he would not. Not this time. This time they both had to find their own path again. This time he could not help Laxus, he would have to find his own way to forgiveness.

"Freed?" it was only a whisper, "I know you're there, Freed. Will you not let me in?"

He sighed. She sure did not give up easily. "What is it that you want Mira?" He wearily asked.

"I, I just thought that I might help you?" she seemed to hesitate, "With your hair I mean? I can help you cut it into a decent shape, and remove the bits you missed at the back?"

He almost smiled as he stood up and opened his door, undoing the barrier with a flick of his hand. "Come in. Perhaps I can use some help after all."


	2. Mira

She stepped through the door and reached up. This time he did not flinch as she softly touched the short stubbles above his ear.

"It is somehow befitting of you, to do a thing like this." She whispered, "But it will take people time to get used to the sight. Now let me help to make you look somewhat decent again."

He bowed his head and led her to the bathroom, wordlessly handing her the scissors while he sat himself down on the edge of the bathtub.

She did not speak either, but with quick hands cut the remaining peaks until he looked slightly more normal.

"Thank you." His voice sounded hoarse and trembled a little, he did not trust himself to say more.

Mira put down the scissors and sank down next to him. "You're not alone in this Freed."

He averted his eyes. "It is I who have to live with what I have done."

"Freed, we all make mistakes. Nothing happened that cannot be undone."

How he wished that he would be able to hide in his long tresses now, but his face remained exposed and he no longer had the energy to walk away.

His expression must have spoken volumes, for Mirajane put an arm around him and held him tight as she repeated, "Freed, you followed the man you love. While I will not say that you are without fault, we understand why you acted as you did."

He shrugged off her arm and rose, despite his fatigue. "That is where you are wrong Mira. I did not just follow Laxus."

He had taken only a few steps when her hand caught his shoulder and squeezed it hard. He cried out and felt his knees buckle. She caught his elbow before he could fall and confusedly he looked up.

"Surprised that I remember where I hit you? I figured that your shoulder must have been in a pretty bad state." She said with a grim expression, "I know you did not just follow him, for that you are far too intelligent. But neither was this all of your own choice. I know what it feels like, Freed Justine. The magic we wield is inherently difficult to control. I never meant to hurt you, and yet I obviously did."

"But you did not want to kill." He whispered in return.

"Do you really think so? I tell you, when I had you pinned down, I nearly did kill you." She let go of his elbow. She turned away and Freed saw her shoulders slump. "It was the memory of Lisanna that stopped me. I too could have killed today. Don't you understand? We are all the same."

He sighed, moving his hand over his eyes, "Let's go and sit down, I'll clean up this mess tomorrow." Kicking the tangled bundle of green hair aside, he moved to the living room and turned on the lights. He squinted against the sudden brightness and sagged down on the couch. He did not look back to see if she followed, he knew she would.

True enough, she came in only a few minutes later, composed again. "I just came here to tell you that you are not as alone as you think you are, Freed." She said as she sat herself down in a comfortable chair.

He stared into nothingness and remained silent for a long time.

"And I am not talking about Ever and Bix, who obviously are worried to death. I understand why you're trying to protect them as much as you can, seeing how much they look up to you. I'm talking about others who respect and maybe even understand you better than you think." She added.

"Do you really believe so, Mira?" he softly asked. "You might be right that _you_ understand more than most, but would you as well understand it if I say that I have already forgiven Laxus?"

"That honestly does not surprise me a bit. I have never doubted that your hardest task would be to learn how to forgive yourself, not him." She hesitated, "You did not go with him just to punish yourself, didn't you?"

He sadly smiled, "No Mira, I am not that bad. I did not join him because like me, he needs to find his own way to forgiveness. However much I would want to protect him, I cannot help him this time and he knows that."

"Are you not afraid that he will not come back?"

Freed sighed, "Yes, I am afraid, but I trust him. He will return when he's ready and when he does, I'll be here waiting for him."

"Laxus is a fool not having seen what he had." Tears were streaking Mirajane's cheeks, "he will realise that soon enough, now that he is truly alone. I just wished it would not have had to come to this."

"It is not a bad thing to be alone, Mira."

She looked at him, wiping away her tears, "How can you say that Freed? _It's when people realise how lonely it is being on their own, that they start to become kind_."

He stared at his hands. "Maybe you are right. Laxus was the first person who ever saw me for whom I really was. He saw through the shields I had built around me at that time."

"At that time? What about now?" She gently asked and he had no choice but to reluctantly nod.

"There have been days that I managed without, but not these last years. Somehow they returned when Laxus started to be so obsessed with strength." He felt how his own tears started to fall again. He had known that he had strayed from his path lately, but it was still hard to admit.

"Freed, please try to let us in. Just for once try to see how much we do care for you. I know how hard it can be, but it is worth it." She hesitated a moment, "For me it changed everything."

He closed his eyes, "I will try, that I promise." She would understand his careful reply, he never broke a promise.

"Good, start with coming to the guild tomorrow. Waiting will only make things more difficult."

"I will be there, I want to apologise to the master."

As he let her out, sometime later that night, he softly closed the door and went to his bedroom. Despite his tiredness he could not sleep, but instead kept thinking about the Mira's questions.


	3. Guild-Guilt

Freed barely slept that night, he tossed and turned and could not stop thinking. When the sun came up, he gave up and rose.

When he entered his bathroom, he took one good look at the mess of green hair and sighed before taking out the broom. Within moments he was finished. He felt sad when he threw the hair in the trashcan, it was as if he threw a part of his life away.

While he shaved, he thought that maybe that indeed had been his reason for cutting it off. To mark the beginning of a new life.

It was not as if his old life had been that bad and one day, one day filled with bad decisions was all that it had taken to lose it.

He walked over to his kitchen, taking a loaf of bread and a bar of chocolate out of the pantry. He put them on the table and sat down. After a few long minutes of staring at the plate in front of him, he hid his head in his trembling hands and tried to prevent his tears from falling. When he had calmed a little, he stood up again, putting all back where it came from. He could not eat, not now.

Instead he put on his boots and coat and absentmindedly ran his hand through his short hair when he saw himself in the hallway mirror.

Letting the door fall close behind him, he headed to the guild in the first morning light.

He found the hall nearly deserted and was somewhat relieved at the silence. However, peace did not last for long as suddenly a slender figure shot herself at him, nearly knocking him off his feet.

"You! How do you dare to come here! After what you did to us, to me!"

He did not protest and let her hit him. He did not even attempt to dodge as her clenched fist approached his jaw.

Before she could hit him, a shield of ice appeared between them.

"Cana, stop it." Gray came closer, looking as dishevelled as ever and Freed eyed him with mild surprise. He had not expected anyone to defend him, Gray least of all.

"Let me through!" She angrily turned to the ice mage. "Or do I have to fight you too?"

"Calm down all right? You've drunk too much, go home and sleep off your intoxication."

"Don't you tell me what to do" she hissed, "I want a rematch at the least."

"Cana." The warning in Gray's voice was clearly audible.

"No, it's fine Gray, let her be. She is right, I deserve this." Freed whispered. He looked up, straight into Cana's brown eyes. "I'm really sorry for what I did yesterday. I know an apology will not suffice, but I hope one day you will forgive me."

"Tsk, " she huffed, but it was Gray who stopped her from walking away.

"Come on, Cana. We all make mistakes. Look at Freed. I think he made it pretty clear that he regrets what he has done, even you cannot ignore that."

For the first time in many years, Freed truly looked at the ice mage. He had always seen Gray as one of the many wild younger brats. In his memory, the kid was continuously looking for a fight. Now he realised that the trouble seeker of then had grown up too, and that there were many things that he did not know about the ice mage.

Cana interrupted his thoughts when she shrugged, "I suppose you're right." Then she yawned and walked past him through the door. "I'm tired and going to my bed, see you Gray, see you Freed."

Shocked he stared after her. From one moment to the next she had accepted his apology. He could only whisper, "Thanks Gray."

"Don't worry about it Freed. Like I said, we all make mistakes." With a sad little smile the ice mage walked back to the bar, leaving Freed stunned at the understanding he had seen in the other's eyes. Maybe Mira had been right, there might be other people around like him.

He had just sat himself down at a table in the corner, still focussed on Gray who was now leaning on the bar and staring at his own empty glass when Mira arrived. She gave him a radiant smile when she noticed him and brought him a fresh cup of coffee. He tried to smile back at her and thanked her for the hot drink. She just winked and disappeared again to the bar. Moments later he could see her talking to Gray, clearly cheering the ice mage up with something she said.

The others started trickling in and the hall was soon filled with noise. To Freed's surprise they all greeted him when they entered, treating him no differently than the others.

Suddenly they heard a loud crack. They all jumped up when the door to the upper floors opened and the master came out with a gigantic bag on his back.

The guild members flocked around the old man, questions flying around. "Master, where are you going?" The confused shouting only increased and he observed how Macao attempted to calm people down, trying to give the master a chance to speak.

"I will leave, I have failed." The old man said when the clamour had subsided, "It is my fault. I will follow my grandson in exile."

They all drew even closer and Freed could no longer see the master, all he could do was listen. He was counting under his breath how long it would take someone to start arguing. He did not even get to three when the new girl's voice, Lucy he thought she was called, rose above the clamour. "Master no! You cannot go! You have not failed. It is not your fault that Laxus did what he did!"

"He just wanted to fight, old man. What's wrong with that? I still think you should not have banished him, how can I have my rematch now?" Natsu bellowed before anyone else could add anything to Lucy's plea.

"Natsu! Cut it off!" that was Erza speaking, Freed did not need to see her to know what was happening and a brawl started in the group of people before him.

The arguments were flying back and forth, but the master did not answer and no one seemed to be able to say anything that would dissuade the old man from his plan.

Freed remained silent. He could see why Makarov wanted to go. He too had wanted to follow Laxus to stand with him through this trial. However it would not help Laxus, nor the guild if the master would follow his grandson. Freed was convinced that it would do his friend some good to be alone for a while, to sort out his thoughts and feelings without anyone interfering. He nearly smiled, if he had not been convinced of that, he would have followed Laxus without a moment's hesitation, irrespective of the dragonslayer's wishes. It was not as if Laxus would have been able to prevent him from joining if he had really wanted to be there.

No, they had to stop Makarov. But how? Suddenly a thought came to him. They both wanted the best for Laxus, that was clear. So how to tell the old man that the right thing to do, was to stay?

He rose and slowly but deliberately made his way through the rows of people that were standing around the old man. When he stood in front of Master Makarov, he looked him in the eyes, and all around him fell silent.

"Master," he did not raise his voice and bent his head in respect, "Please, do not try to punish Laxus any more than you already have. If he were to learn that you had forsaken your position on his account…" He did not need to finish his sentence, he saw in Makarov's eyes that he had understood. They both knew Laxus far too well.

When he had entered the guild this morning, he had done so because he had wanted to talk to the master. He had wanted to know why he was not being punished, but now he realised how futile that question was. Maybe the old man already knew how hard it had been for him to stay behind. Maybe they both were paying the same price for not being able to guide Laxus better.

The master slowly nodded and turned around, stomping off again to his own rooms.

A sigh of relief went through the guild and Macao elbowed him in the ribs. "Thanks Freed, that was a close call. I do not want to think about how things would change with Makarov gone."

He tried to smile. "It is the least I could do." he turned around and wanted to go home again, but was stopped in his tracks when someone caught him off guard and hugged him.

As he looked down, he laughed now in earnest. "Evergreen, if you hold me any tighter, you'll suffocate me."

"I'll take care of that if you ever shut us out again." "Take care of that" "Take care of that" The annoying echo of Bix's babies was enough of a warning and Freed did not fight back when he was pulled into another bear hug. "I'm glad you're here but don't you ever do that to us again, understood? Using your barriers against us, how dare you" Bixlow huffed.

"I won't." Freed whispered, annoyed at his own tears. "I'll stay at your side. I promise." And in his mind he silently added "And at your side Laxus, wherever you are in this world, however long it will take you to return, I'll be thinking of you."

* * *

 _Freed's line to makarov is a direct quote from the manga… One more chapter to write – Laxus pov this time – yay!_


	4. Laxus

Walking through the deserted streets of Magnolia, Laxus tried to ignore the sound of the parade behind him. He was confused. Having all his guild mates make that gesture had touched him more than all else that had happened these last days.

He had not bothered to say goodbye to anyone except his Thunder god tribe. He knew he had done the right thing by keeping them from joining him. They did not deserve to get into more trouble than they already were. He could not make them leave the only home they had ever known.

The conversation had not gone entirely as planned though. While Evergreen and Bickslow had reacted as he had predicted, Freed's utter silence had made him feel uneasy.

He had brushed away their arguments with his usual flair and he had ignored his own growing unease, but as he now walked under a starlit sky, there was a nagging voice at the back of his head. Maybe he had owned Freed some sort of an apology.

The rune mage had been the only one who had dared speak his mind. Only he had dared stand up against him, only he had tried to tell him how wrong he had been and Laxus had rewarded him by attacking. He grimaced as he remembered how he had narrowly missed Freed with his lightning. He had never intended to hurt his friend, but as ever, he had ignored his rational brain and had let his anger control him. What a fool he had been.

He could have killed Freed.

He held his breath at the thought.

Yes, he could have. While he had half-expected him to jump aside, stubborn Freed had not moved. He had underestimated the rune mage's cool. Or perhaps it was something else, something worse. Perhaps Freed had _trusted_ him not to hurt him.

He was not worthy of that trust and Freed should know that by now.

It was unsettling that Freed had perfectly understood what he was getting himself into during the battle, and still had chosen to stay by his side. "I will follow you even to hell", he had said and Laxus had not taken him seriously. Now he knew that Freed had meant it. He should have remembered how careful the rune mage usually was when making promises. It made him realise that it had been he who had opened the gates to darkness. Yes, his friend had very good reasons to be mad at him now.

He put one foot in front of the other, ever walking further, replaying the scenes of the days past over and over again.

When the sun rose, he tiredly sat himself down near a small bush, stretching his long legs before him. Maybe Freed indeed was angry with him.

Or maybe not. He had heard his friend's choked voice behind him when he had left, calling out his name. It had almost sounded like a plea. Would he have sounded so desperate when he would have been mad? Perhaps Freed had been just too shocked to say anything?

Or maybe he was mad. Maybe he had gone too far this time. The gods knew that _he_ would not easily forgive a friend who had tricked him into doing something he did not want.

Actually, "did not want" was too weak an expression. He had trapped Freed, abusing his loyalty without any further consideration.

Sitting underneath the tree, staring at the greenness of the leaves above, he saw Freed's face in front of him. Freed's scathed, bandaged, _smiling_ face, as the wounded rune mage leant against the pillars of Kardia Cathedral and told him that his Fairy Law had not hurt a single person.

His fury had been so great that he had not even listened.

No, that was not true. He _had_ heard the truth in those words and that had enraged him even further.

The shame he felt ever since he had gained consciousness again after his fight increased with each fleeting minute. He had been such a fool.

Once he had overheard Gildarts preaching to some of the younger brats that true courage was found when a man learned how to sheath his sword again once it was out. He had arrogantly sniggered at the comment, but had not said anything in return. However strong he was, he did still fear Gildarts.

Now he thought he started to get the point. He could see for the first time how difficult it truly was to stop in your tracks, look back, see what you had done wrong and change course.

Perhaps it was time for him to discover if he was now tough enough to admit how wrong he had been, to see where he wanted to go next. He needed some time on his own to find out. Perhaps it was no different for Freed. He too might have to change his course.

During the years past, he ever had stayed close to him. Laxus was not blind, he had seen how Freed idolised him and it had flattered his ego.

But he did realise that Freed had no other friends left anymore. There literally was no one else whom the rune mage trusted, with whom he really talked. Ever and Bix did not truly count. Freed would take care of them, but he hardly shared his thoughts with them. It was not for naught that he called himself their captain.

Even Laxus no longer knew what was going on in his friend's mind but he remembered a time when things had been different.

One day, only a few years ago, he had taken the team with him on a job. They had quite effortlessly defeated the dark mage, but he had walked away from the fight struck by grief.

It had been a tragic case really. The mage had tried to apply his magic to his son. The little boy had not been very smart, and the man had started to research all he could about magic that would improve his son's abilities.

He had encountered some serious memory-altering spells on the way, and had tried them out on the boy. Discovering how useful they could be, he had started to use them as well to increase his wealth and influence in the village and by the time Laxus and the team were sent to capture him, he held the whole town captive, always changing their memories to his own advantage.

However the little boy for whom he had started to learn magic, was no better off than before. His father had learned how to put the memories in his head, but he did not understand all the things he remembered. Laxus had pitied him, but it had been the boy's pleading for his father that had hurt him most. "It's not his fault," The kid had said, "If I would just been a little smarter, if I just had listened a little better, this would not have happened!"

He had gritted his teeth and had walked away, leaving the child to Evergreen.

That evening Freed had insisted on keeping watch and Laxus had laid himself down to sleep. As he heard Ever and Bix's breathing calm down, he had grown ever more restless.

When Freed softly had called his name, he did not hesitate but threw off his covers and went to sit next to him by the fire.

For at least an hour, they had remained quiet, staring at the ever moving flames. It was weird, but he had not felt the need to speak, and neither had his companion apparently. They both found it hard to talk about what was bothering them.

The little that he knew about Freed's childhood had made it clear that he had as much of a troublesome relation with his father as he did. And somehow they both understood how unsettled the other was by the events of the day.

"You know, I always defended my old man." Laxus had whispered in the end. "When Gramps tried to help me when I was sick, I told him that it was my own fault for not being stronger. He grumbled at my father for that, but I did all I could to convince him that my old man had been right, that I indeed was too weak."

Freed had stared in the flames, "It was the same for me. Whenever I lost control, whenever I let the demon surface, I apologised for not being strong enough to keep myself in check. I never realised that someone could have helped me, that it was my parent's duty to look after me."

"At least no one can call me weak now." Laxus had grimly said then, "I've left that part of my life far behind me."

It was funny, he still remembered the exact words Freed had spoken in reply.

"You know Laxus, I thought the same when I joined Fairy Tail. I thought I had left it all behind. But to be honest, I do not think I ever will."

He had failed to understand what Freed had meant back then, but now he saw the true meaning of those words. His friend always had kept himself in check, never letting anyone close, making a rare exception for him. And now he had betrayed him by his foolish actions. He could only guess how this had impacted Freed, perhaps it would finally convince him to open up a little to the other people in the guild. Yes, the more he thought about it, the more he got convinced that Freed too would need time to put what had happened into the right perspective.

He would never be able to do so if Laxus had stayed with him and perhaps, just perhaps, his friend had realised this too. It had to be that. Otherwise he would have come running behind him by now.

"I'll see you again my friend. When we are both ready, we'll meet again." Laxus whispered to the dancing leaves above and closed his eyes, finally letting sleep claim him.

* * *

 _When I first started this one, I thought it was going to be only a one shot, but then it seemed like rushing things and I decided to spend a little more time on the story that initially intended :-) Thank you for bearing with me for four chapters and hope you enjoyed it!_


	5. When we meet again my friend

_Because it felt unfinished without having them meet each other once more, because Makeira_ _asked, because I love the song, because I felt like writing this... one more - when Freed and Laxus meet again..._

Freed stared at the table as the band started to play the next song. He tightened his grip on his glass until his knuckles were white. With a thud, he put down his pint, threw the jewels on the table and walked out into the cold. "Oh all the money that e'er I spent, I spent it in good company." He had not been able to avoid hearing the first few seconds of the music. Hiding his face in his long tresses, he walked the streets of magnolia. Great, now he could not ban the song from his mind. He would not go home just yet, not until he had calmed down.

"Freed! Hey, where are you going?"

He startled at the low rumble behind him and stopped in his tracks. He silently berated himself. He had been too preoccupied, not even hearing that someone had followed him out of the guild.

"Home, Laxus. I'm going home."

The dragonslayer had caught up and was now standing right before him. "Last time I looked, your apartment was the other way. What's wrong, Freed?"

He did not even reply and tried to walk further but a strong hand on his shoulder stopped him.

"Freed."

"What makes you think something is wrong?" He snapped back.

"For one, you left without saying goodbye to me."

"I did, didn't I." Freed grimaced, "Well, I hate to tell you, but even I do not think of you all the time."

"That is a lie and you know it, Freed Justine."

He turned around and ignored Laxus' comment. Instead he recited a few verses, "But since it falls unto my lot that I should rise and you should not. I'll gently rise and I'll softly call, good night and joy be with you all." He did not say more but brushed Laxus' hand from his shoulder, walking into another deserted street.

He nearly fled to his apartment. When he was fumbling with the key in the hallway, heavy footsteps sounded on the stairs. He sighed. "You do not know when to give up, do you?"

"I have sworn to protect you and the others. Did you forget that?" Laxus was looking determined.

"It is not as if I am in any danger, Laxus." Freed wearily rubbed his forehead and then gestured at his friend. "Come in."

Unceremoniously, the dragon slayer put his coat on a chair and sagged down on the couch.

"And make yourself comfortable." Freed muttered under his breath. It was not worth getting irritated over something like this. He had known Laxus for far too long. He should be happy that he had not found him waiting for him inside the apartment.

"So, when are you going to tell me what that was all about?"

Freed ignored Laxus and painstakingly put his keys in their usual place. Then he put his coat on a hanger, ungirded his sword, removed his boots and began to empty his dishwasher.

Suddenly, Laxus was next to him and gripped his wrists. "Stop it. Now."

He looked up, trying hard to keep his expression even. "Why, Laxus? Why do I have to stop? It is you who came here uninvited. I am merely doing what I was planning to before you decided to crash here."

"I'll ask it again. What was all that about. Why did you run out of the guild hall and why did you say those weird things earlier?"

"You never listen to the lyrics of a song, do you?" Freed wearily smiled. "But even you should realise which one they were playing when I left the guild.

Laxus' eyes widened and the slayer let go of his wrists. "I see."

Freed reached back into the dishwasher, taking out a few plates. "I never want to hear that song again." He could not keep the tremble from his voice and put the plates down, leaning on the counter, hiding his face in his long hair.

Suddenly there were hesitating fingers on his shoulder. "For what it's worth. I am sorry. I'm sorry I left you behind. I had to. Really, Freed, I had no choice."

"I know that." It came out as a mere whisper. "I would have followed if I had not known that."

"But still I caused you pain, didn't I?"

Freed could hear the guilt in Laxus' voice and looked up. "I would like to tell you that you did not, but I promised I would not lie to you. Yes, Laxus, your absence did pain me. But not as much as the things I did myself."

"Mira told me that it was you that succeeded in convincing gramps to stay." Laxus hesitated once more, "and that you had shorn off your hair in repentance."

He weakly smiled. "They all got so upset at that. I do not see why. It was far less of a punishment than what I deserved."

"It is the same for me"

Freed looked up and stared into Laxus' eyes. "What do you mean?"

"Exactly what I am saying. Two months of being banished is not nearly enough of a punishment for what I did." With his usual brusqueness, the dragonslayer moved again towards the living room and dropped on the sofa.

This time, Freed followed and thoughtfully sat himself down on the comfortable chair opposed to his friend. "I have been thinking."

Laxus raised his eyebrow in reply, "Nothing new there, Freed Justine. If you would have told me that you had _stopped_ thinking, I would have been truly surprised."

Freed smirked, "I'll never become like you." He grew serious again, "I will never leave you Laxus. You might even have to get used to all of us staying closer than we were before. I do not want to part from you again. Not until the day that you tell us that you'd rather be alone. But neither will I blindly follow you any longer." He averted his face. "You will no longer convince me to go against my own beliefs." They had not talked about what had happened. After their return from Tenrou, they had been drawn into the festivities at the guild and tonight was the first quiet night in a long time.

"I, I understand." Laxus whispered and Freed looked at him, finding him staring at his big calloused hands as he continued. "I did not expect you to trust me at all after what I've done. I am truly sorry that I caused you so much grief. I will not easily forget the look on your face when you first saw me again at Tenrou."

"You must have thought me a wimp. I shouldn't have cried in front of everyone perhaps, but I have changed." He paused for a moment, "You might think differently, but to me, those two months were enough. So many people came to see me. They talked to me and tried to cheer me up. You cannot imagine how it felt…" He shuddered.

When he looked up, Laxus was kneeling before him and he was shocked to see that the dragonslayer had tears in his eyes.

"Forgive me, please forgive me for what I have done. Please try to understand…"

Slowly he shook his head, resting his long fingers against Laxus' cheek. "There is nothing to worry about. I had already forgiven you the moment you cast that Fairy Law spell, my friend. I never lost faith in you. I have been very sad while you were away, even if I realised you needed the time on your own as much as I did. Still I am very grateful that you returned."

"You might be right, saying you have changed. I've never known you to be so open about how you felt." Laxus said in a shaky voice. "I still have a lot to learn, it seems." He swallowed hard. "I must admit that I find it difficult to see how anyone could forgive me, when I have not managed to forgive myself."

"Trust us. With time, things will sort themselves out." Freed slowly moved his hand away from Laxus' face and took his hand instead. "Now get up, this is not like you. You are supposed to be the strong one, remember?"

"I am." Laxus rose and walked over to the window that looked out over Fiore. "And I swear I will get even stronger. I have to if I want to protect you all. We have been given a second chance, next time we meet Acnologia, we will not be so easily defeated. But I as well promise that I will no longer try to do this alone."

"For what it's worth, I promise that I will do the same, and so will the Raijinshu. As of now we fight as one, for the guild's sake." Freed said as he joined his friend at the window.

Laxus turned to him with a knowing smile. "Well, since that is settled, there is no need to get upset anymore at a parting song, is there? After all, if we can trust each other to be right here whenever we need each other, why would we be sad at the idea of leaving?"

Freed looked down. "You are right. Perhaps I too have still a thing or two to learn."

"So, why don't we drink a glass to that, a parting glass, before I go home tonight."

With a curt nod, Freed walked to his kitchen and poured two glasses of fortified wine. He handed one to Laxus, who raised it in salute.

"To good company, to our comrades, to a good night,"

"and joy be with you all." Freed whispered, finishing the sentence. Laxus was right. There was nothing wrong with the song, as long as one could keep the faith that one's friends would eventually return. And Laxus would return, he had promised as much. As of now, he always would.

He smiled, and was still smiling when Laxus left his apartment a good time later. Their conversation had drifted to lighter topics, and many more glasses had followed after that first one. Things were finally right again and he hoped that this time, they would remain so for a long, long time.


End file.
